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Worries!

Being worried is part of the human condition and is therefore a fairly regular experience for us all. I have come to believe that much worry is not only pointless and unproductive but also emotionally and physically damaging. Now this is not to say that some worries aren’t very real and present and are linked to a here and now problem that requires a solution, however other worries are much less connected with reality.

Sometimes we worry about the future, what might, could happen. Usually these worries are based in some fantasised worst case scenarios. Perhaps we do that because we are trying to get ourselves to face the worst outcome in order to be ready for it. Alternatively we may have a deeply held belief that we will always fall foul of life and we will never have anything good happen to us.

Inevitably neither of these worries will help us. As far as an imagined worst case outcome is concerned, it rarely happens as we imagine, and even if it does, it is never quite how we imagined and will usually require a very different way forward. Pessimistic worries are likely to be connected to our early life experiences than to our present reality. Life has no intention for us – it just happens. The good and the bad and the in-between occur and it is how we deal with what happens is the only thing that matters.

Just like you I have had my share of worries so you may be wondering how I manage them. Well here are some tips.

I will focus on the best possible outcome from the situation and this will only change if the actual reality is otherwise. This has a number of advantages: I remain positively focused. Everything that we are learning about the body/mind connection is that the more positively focused we are the better the outcome is likely to be. Secondly I can get on with life rather than feel constantly drawn back into anxiety and despair. I will experience life as being normal rather than heading for a ‘car crash’ which is not normal at all! Thirdly, I know that all I can do anything about is what is happening now, not what I imagine. This helps me to address the problems that I can do something about rather than waste consummate amounts of emotional and physical energy on imaginings.

Easily done? No not at all for it will require effort and commitment and considerable repetition. Is it worth it? YES! (RPW)